Klub ASG Scorpion

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My epiphany in a mountain in the steps
without edge season, and --
corner opaque haze Philosophy
has an old scar,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], through the door against the wind
, flip --
the sensible ideas to sit a summer
kernel written days, Nawang, such as butterfly flowerSlender
a double fantasy knives
cut lotus water rhyme
in all the stories, the romantic
pick a piano,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], talking about the rain
conveniently, the Gu Yu Ling Bo Mai Yan embrace
see, fence --
the sun teasing gentle climb Petunia
a gust of wind,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], to
and banana will smile Dojo packedFood
the eaves, piles of,, a road into the village
should be how to shake hands,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], warm days
summer, I am happy good pain
soul rhythm, splashing the Dreamspell
bamboo bridge, a que hearty mast flower pious Chung tillage farm field
decoration my house,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], with sweat,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the starlight beautiful
not all swim can
soothing fluorescence, light valley language
now, it listens --
listening chirrup, JOJO and polite whisper
a century may return
I gain three points drunk --
in lotus leaf light sprinkling mountains follow freely flowing style of writing
surging Canyon, hand back the sails
compotation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], my house to open note month
the waves surging beautiful
held off, hold out the poetic,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], held two tea
the first cup,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], pour to river dripping legend
second cups of tea, read Qin --
to fall thousand foot waterfall, the Pavilion
and let the years near my arms
regardless vicissitudes of life, no matter how silent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], no matter angle
from Fife, Yang Kai cow back and streams
select, Star splendid instantaneous rendezvous
a window of summer,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], lit the Qing Ming
a little twist to black and white,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Lazi criss cross paths, the time to reach the proverbs相关的主题文章：


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With tears in her eyes I waved violently,bid farewell to relatives and friends,All on the back of the pack to leave the past,walk out the door,firm eyes and silent reason,start on the road do not look back.

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From now on,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
learn to do a careful person.
learn to know how to make their own thoughtful,
the simple things,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
the total origin, formation process,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], results, and the influence of.
may only be of no great importance,
perhaps many just nimby,
we must learn to think,
learn habits of thinking.
from now on,
learn to be a broad-minded person,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
let trouble and sorrow a smile,
let jealousy and anger wind piaoyuan.
square accounts in every detail just get a moment,
can lose is eternal.
learn to forgive, to learn tolerance,
a way of life out of not the same wonderful,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
from now on,
learn to speak and act cautiously,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
make a gentleman,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
to Taishan, if the ocean wide.
act on impulse in handling things destroyed,
wine release right Qiao for soldiers.
from now on,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
do satisfy a person,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
write a quiet autumn leaves,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
painted a summer cloud,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],
learn to slowly quiet listening to this world,
this world belongs to myself.
from now on,
to be a happy man,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
know memories, understand the future.相关的主题文章：


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With tears in her eyes I waved violently,bid farewell to relatives and friends,All on the back of the pack to leave the past,walk out the door,firm eyes and silent reason,start on the road do not look back.

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Dawn plays
,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
I think of you
your eyes Chaoyang general
warm my frozen face
youth running speed
faster than God's light
when I wake up
spring Yan
had forsaken
the silly boy
but this moment
My Love
active into the mountains.
my heart
the blooming of a
Chuxiu cloud
as long as love
soul will have endless harvest
if Miss
life rises does not fall.
&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; &nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; &nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; &nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; &nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; &nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; &nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; & nbsp; &nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; &nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; &nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; &nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]; 201236相关的主题文章：


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With tears in her eyes I waved violently,bid farewell to relatives and friends,All on the back of the pack to leave the past,walk out the door,firm eyes and silent reason,start on the road do not look back.

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in extensive network Beijing on November 3rd news 1 when make,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Wu Bangguo,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Wen Jiabao,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Li Changchun,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Xi Jinping,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Li Keqiang,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Heguoqiang,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Zhou Yongkang and other leading comrades to watch the Tiangong-1 and Shenzhou eight rendezvous and docking live at the Beijing Aerospace Control Center field.
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This medical billing service has been introduced to help those people who are not financially strong enough to carry their treatment in a proper way. To help these people this billing service has been made.

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Vascular and Lymphatic Insufficiency,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
Gender
Your circulatory system and your lymphatic systems are two body systems that work together to facilitate blood and fluid circulation to and from different parts of your body. Aside from distribution of important nutrients that every body organ needs,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], these systems are also responsible for flushing out the harmful toxins that may remain stagnant on different parts of your body. Vascular and lymphatic insufficiencies greatly cripple the latter function. Gravity also contributes to the heightened insufficiency that these body systems may eventually give you in the long run. As a result,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], certain body regions such as your buttocks and thighs get more of the fluids and waste materials. These factors make these parts appear swollen and saggy. Unfortunately,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it may be difficult for you to address the cellulite if this is the main cause.
Hormones are responsible for improving the level of biochemical equilibrium inside your body. These substances also decide some of the important biological processes and mechanisms that your body needs to utilize. When these substances go in a frenzy to cause a great deal of chaos inside your body,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], toxins may accumulate on different parts of your body.
Specifically,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], heightened estrogen is considered the main culprit of the entire phenomenon. This is the same hormone that is responsible in storing excessive amounts of fat tissues in different parts of your body. Other substances that may contribute to cellulite formation are:
Hormonal Imbalance
By William Mason
See all Articles by william masonGet Updates on Fat LossGet Updates on william mason Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
According to studies,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], females are more predisposed to the heightened cellulite formation inside their bodies. Experts have recently spotted the close link between the elevated levels of estrogen and the gender as the main factors that play major roles in the formation of cellulites. This is the reason that most of the treatment procedures for addressing cellulites are geared towards women’s health and wellness. This is also the reason that most of the products designed to reduce cellulites come in the form of beauty products.
Cellulite is a common physiological reaction to heightened physical inactivity. But this does not mean that this is the only factor that causes the unsightly result. The following are just some of the contributing factors that may initiate and worsen the appearance of cellulites. If you want to know more about them,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you should read on. These may give you insights on what to modify or address in case you have evident cellulites on different body areas.
•Insulin
•Epinephrine
•Norepinephrine
•Thyroxin
•Prolactin
Author&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
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This medical billing service has been introduced to help those people who are not financially strong enough to carry their treatment in a proper way. To help these people this billing service has been made.

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Affected by strong cold air,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], 18 days nightly and 19 at night,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Yantai City,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the minimum temperature of 2 ～ 4 ℃, the minimum ground temperature around 0 ℃,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the frost, the impact on agricultural production. The Yantai meteorological observatory 18 days 14 when release frost warning signal blue,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], please pay attention to prevention. Agriculture and forestry departments in accordance with the duty to prevent frost preparations; for crops,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], vegetables,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], flowers,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], fruits,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], forest breeding take advance irrigation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], spray,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], smoke or cover and other protective measures; rural grassroots organizations and farmers to pay close attention to the early warning information local frost,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in order to take measures to strengthen the protection of.相关的主题文章：


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Author&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
You reflect your boundary with body language. Watch for downcast eyes, soft childlike voice,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], facial expressions that don’t match the circumstance, off-balance posture and disjointed body movements as indicators of a too-soft boundary. Watch for a rigid body posture,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], clipped voice,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], lack of facial expression and eyes that don’t blink as signs of a too-rigid boundary. With either of these types of boundary you will not be able to respond to the present need only to react. To build a healthy boundary start with breathing. Next,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], check your posture,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], feel your feet meeting the floor. Do a quick check of your muscle tension and relax the tight spots. Be aware of your face and drain the tension away by lifting your chin and relaxing your eyes. Take a full breathe and allow your voice to come from deep in your chest,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not from the throat. Now stand tall,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], make direct eye contact and see the other person for who they truly are.
No one can do anything to you unless you allow it. You cannot be treated disrespectfully as if you have no feelings, are stupid,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], slow or unworthy unless you allow that to happen.
By Michaela David
See all Articles by Get Updates on Adult and Senior DevelopmentGet Updates on Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
For the most part good boundaries ward off disrespectful treatment. A personal boundary is a soft,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], invisible protection that you establish around yourself. You might compare a healthy boundary to a lung,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], expanding and contracting naturally to meet the needs of the present moment. Boundaries move farthest out when we are in public and close in with family and intimate friends. Our work boundaries come somewhere in between and depend on who we are interacting with ... boss or co-worker.
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&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
Dolce and Gabbana
is made of transparent material,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the structure is exposed to the fashion surface, although not Dolce and Gabbana's patent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but have a look of that light levels,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the graceful dancing at the end of the pendulum,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and who can turn imagination and technology so a seamless heavenly robe?

Christian Jhon Galliano Dior
it is always lingering aristocrat complex, the season once again used the sexy actress Marlene Dietrich Mousika,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the leopard and the stage feeling strong suit mix of mystery and coquettish, former erotic image.
Ann Demeulemees
preference for classic color Ann Demeulemees seems like levels inside and outside to highlight the fashion with different lengths of the match. Structure design is dazzling,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], will suit fabrics hidden thin on the innermost layer,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], indeed played a role beyond all expectations.


Versace
Donatella Versace on strong women more perfection in one's studies. Deduction,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], not blindly arrogant, also not extremely frivolous. Let the hard and soft fabric walk between the two collision sparks. In addition, a major trend and outer clothing using unified tone is in the spring.
Priority among priorities of
this season's suit who make only superficial changes, not hard to "clothes" metamorphosis rules. Not only the profile scale relaxed many, fabrics, design is also a find everything fresh and new. Don't choke on "compression" Dafa,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], stylish dress not to use hypnosis to, big profile can still be teaching model dress.

Yves Saint Laurent
wide shoulder and waist -- this season details. Emphasis on tailoring the sense of design,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], lines deliberately create edges,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], bring out the popular trend of the future philosophy. Increased women's stature is visual impression.




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This medical billing service has been introduced to help those people who are not financially strong enough to carry their treatment in a proper way. To help these people this billing service has been made.

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By Ivan Hince
See all Articles by Ivan HinceGet Updates on Herbal Remedies and HerbsGet Updates on Ivan Hince Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
On looking for a Natural Arthritis cure I came across some weird and wonderful concoctions, and it does make me wonder how people come up with them in the first place. But I guess that if someone is desperate enough they will try anything,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and perhaps that’s where the mind over matter basis comes in.
I’m sure at this point everyone knows what Arthritis is,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and that they must know that the sufferer will have very painful joints,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which become inflamed and extremely painful. These symptoms tend to baffle the Doctors who realistically have no known cure. All they can do is take blood tests,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and recommend the taking of pain killers.
Please note that I am not a Doctor, or any way allied to the Medical profession, and I would always advise you to talk things through with your Doctor. I am not qualified to give you medical advice, and the only thing I am doing is passing information on that I have read about. If you type in Rheumatoid Arthritis into a search engine on the Internet you will be able to find the same results that I am telling you about. (Most of these reports are produced by Doctors) If you are suffering badly you might not want to talk things over with your Doctor,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but again that would be your choice. Some Doctors might not be very happy about this type of treatment, and quite possibly they will try to talk you out of it.
Perhaps I should explain at this point what an alkaline diet is? It's a diet of fresh fruit and vegetables with the odd exception. Meat is very acidic, while something like a melon is very alkaline. The only thing that patients must watch is that the level of vitamins is kept at the right level. This is where it is always advisable to talk things through with your Doctor, and make sure that you also have a Nutritionist to advise you what to eat.
Author's Bio:
There are many modern ailments and some I might say not so modern that have bought the individual patient to tears from the way they have to suffer. Things like Cancer,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Parkinson's,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Alzheimer's,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], High Blood pressure,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Asthma, eczema, psoriasis, and many more ailments can be added to that list.
But thanks to a Medical research team headed by a Doctor Robert O Young from the United States began to see a pattern on why these diseases were happening. Now before I go any further I should explain that Dr Young is a Micro Biologist,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and a Nutritionist, and it was through his team’s work that they realised that the good cells in the blood were being killed off by the onset of too much acid in the body due to the food we eat.
This acid content of our diets was killing off the good cells that normally would be the body’s normal defence system. I think we all know that the body has the ability to heal itself given the right circumstances, and that by drastically altering our diet you can kick start the body’s defence system to start working properly again.
To sum up if the patient were to have an alkaline diet there would be no bad cells because there would be enough good cells produced to fight and kill the bad ones,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. The body would then in turn give you natural pain relief.
A classic example of this would be from people that suffer with gout,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and how that an over abundance of Uric acid can get into the blood, and crystallises in the joints which gives the patient the symptoms of Gout. Get rid of the acid and you feel 100% better again. For anyone who as ever suffered with Gout they will no just how painful it can be.
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This medical billing service has been introduced to help those people who are not financially strong enough to carry their treatment in a proper way. To help these people this billing service has been made.

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By Chris Richardson
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So what are the alternatives to plastic surgery? Well,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], diet is a big one. Giving our bodies all the proper nutrients,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and water,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it needs is a definite plus. Eating a lot of refined foods and over indulging in alcohol or smoking will definitely take years off of one's appearance. Too much sunlight is also not good for our skin,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], nor is too little. Another huge factor that can affect one's appearance is stress.
So if you already have your diet under control,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you don't imbibe too much and your stress levels are in check, what else is there that one can do to maintain a youthful appearance? A Beauty-lift facial may be just the thing you are looking for. This simple, non-invasive technique can be used to help smooth out all the fine lines and wrinkles. It can also lift the eyebrows, jaw line and accent the cheekbones. This is all done by the strategic placement of highly porous bandages. Your eyes are also given special consideration with the application of mineral soaked facial pads. These will help to reduce the dark lines around your eyes.
Author's Bio:
Plastic surgery is not all bad and it has definitely been of benefit to people who have suffered injuries that have altered their appearance. The first known recipient of beneficial plastic surgery was Walter Yeo,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a British soldier. There are even older accounts dating back to 1700s, though there is no photographic evidence to prove this. Such a report was made in Gentleman’s Magazine,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in 1794,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], regarding an Indian surgeon known as Kumhar Vaidya. A British surgeon,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Joseph Constatine Carpue, went to Indian and researched their plastic surgery methods for over 20 years. It is claimed that he performed the first major plastic surgery operation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in the Western world in 1815.
So,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if you are looking to enhance your looks and would like to forgo the vagaries of plastic surgery, why not try out a Beauty-lift facial or body wrap. This is a much less expensive, pain-free, yet still effective method of improving one's looks – all in about an hour.
We have all seen plastic surgery, and it rarely looks good or natural. The eternal quest for youth has left some people looking like caricatures of themselves after one surgery too many. What is it that drives people to this length to improve their looks? Celebrities, as they try to keep pace with our youth obsessed culture,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], are at particular risk of the negative affects plastic surgery can have.
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Author&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
Thirst is the craving for liquids,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. The body works according to a specific mechanism for the balance of fluids,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. When there is a shortage of water or an increase in the concentration of sodium and potassium (compounds that regulate fluid balance among the inside and outside the cell through a process of osmosis) . Where receptors send nerve signals to the central nervous system that there is a need for fluid intake then we will feel thirsty.
The ongoing drought is causing many health problems such as dry skin ,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], mucous membranes and lips, fatigue,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], dizziness, trouble concentrating, drowsiness, muscle spasms, headaches,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], irregular heartbeat, the failure of organs of the body in the organization of heat.
When Ramadan comes in summer, thirst be more because of hot weather and the length of daylight as the fasting period may extend to more than 15 hours a day. The person is fasting should be go to work and do daily activities like any other month, which means the loss of a lot of body fluids throughout the day. I will offer here in this article are some tips to overcome the thirst:
1. Food plays a major role in a person's ability to withstand thirst during fasting. Eating fresh fruits and vegetables at night or in the meal suhoor because they contain large amounts of water and fiber, which remain for a long time in the intestine. This reduces the feeling of hunger and thirst.
2.Avoid drinking sweetened juices,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], especially in the breakfast, because it pulls fluid from the cells and the blood,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], increasing the body's need for water, and replace it by drinking fresh fruit juice,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and avoid too much sweets because it increases the feeling of thirst .
3.Use very little salt on the salad or use lemon instead salt because the large amount of salt increases the feeling of thirst during the fasting period,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Also avoid foods that contain hot spices and flavors as they increase thirst.
4.Stay away from eating salty foods such as salted fish and all kinds of pickles, because these foods increase the body's need to water.
5.Avoid soft drinks because they contain carbon, which causes swelling of the abdomen and a feeling of fullness and prevents the body from the use of liquids. Eat boiled foods instead of fried foods or grilled.
6.Avoid prolonged exposure to sunlight because it increases the sweating and fluid loss from the body. Thereby increase the feeling of thirst, and use the means of protection from the sun.
7.Drink enough water in the period among breakfast and the fast,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], drink at least eight glasses of water. The amount of water on the level of physical activity for the person and the circumstances of his work. Do not drink large amounts of water at once. Should have a moderate water temperature, not too cold because the cold water cause problems in digestion.
By Abdulrazaq Al-Jobori
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By Katherine Bridge,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
See all Articles by Katherine BridgeGet Updates on WellnessGet Updates on Katherine Bridge Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
Author's Bio:&nbsp,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];
After the baby is out,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], eating right and exercising are simply a must. There is just no way that your body will be able to burn that fat off in a reasonable amount of time unless you are putting the right things into it and treating it right. Your body is like a machine,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and it needs serious care and fine-tuning following your pregnancy in order for you to get back to the shape you used to be in. Although you may not have the trainers and dietitians that celebrities have,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you will still be able to see excellent results if you eat right and exercise for an hour at a time throughout the week. You probably won't lose the weight within a month like some celeb moms appear to, but you are looking for healthy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], long-lasting results, and you can achieve this within a few months if you put your mind to it.
If keeping the added weight is not something you are interested in (and it shouldn't be), there are a few key things that you can do in order to make sure that you will get back to your old self, or at least close to it. One measure you can take ahead of time if you are still pregnant at this point is to eat right and moderately exercise during the pregnancy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which is one of the best ways to make it easier to lose the baby weight afterward. Believe it or not,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if you eat a healthy diet and do some moderate working out while you are carrying your child,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you will find it much easier to lose the weight once the baby is out (be sure to consult your physician before making any changes to your diet or starting a workout plan while pregnant.)
Are you struggling to lose the weight you gained during pregnancy? Did you lose some weight at first, only to hit a plateau where you began to struggle with it? Are you wondering why celebrities seem to drop the weight in weeks,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when you have been getting so-so results for months? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you are not alone. One of the hardest parts about dealing with having a baby is trying to get rid of the weight you have gained during the pregnancy. It is very common for women to have a tough time dropping those extra pounds, and for that reason,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], some women are never able to do it.
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director Li told reporters, because the whistle and ventilation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which win time to rescue the child,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if the jelly, candy and other solid things, danger degree of children will increase.
"came in,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the child pale purple, stuck in the throat of the little whistle sound issued from time to time when the children." Li Xiaoyu Department of ENT director responsible for the child operation said,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], because the child is too young,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Li Xiaoyu immediately decided to implement the operation using bronchoscope and organ forceps. Half an hour later,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the whistle is removed, apparently out of danger.
29 noon,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Wenshang three years old children clearly (alias) playing when he put a small whistle inhalation throat,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], small whistle of larynx and trachea clamped between the induced obviously breathing difficulties. By the emergency rescue doctor more than half an hour, it just right.
according to clearly neighbor,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], in the morning at the age of three,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I and the children play together,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], take a small whistle candy with toy. At about 11,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], obviously the toy whistle in his mouth and it stuck in the throat. Suddenly, it appeared the phenomenon of serious cough, difficult breathing, the family immediately dial "120" and quickly when sent to the Affiliated Hospital of Jining Medical College.
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Although I'm not a trained or licensed psychologists, I've found that I can't spend very long in the midlife arena without having to sort through virtual buckets of emotions — most of them painful, negative ones — that men in the midlife transition experience. As I've been shuffling through this pile of emotional detritus,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I've found that people (men in particular) have to manage three different emotional arenas where different emotions may wreak havoc on them simultaneously. The first emotional arena in which men have to play is the arena of felt emotions. This is the most fundamental (and most real) level. These are the emotions that a man is actually feeling. The second emotional arena could be called the arena of recognized emotions. These are the feelings that a man thinks he's feeling (which could be quite different from what he's actually feeling. Finally, there's the arena of the expressed emotions. These are the emotions that he lets out into the world. According to Dr. Diamond and other notable researchers, the typical male emotional vocabulary is limited to two 'words': anger and sex.*
In spite of their bravado,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], men easily become dependent on women. The same way most women wouldn't leave home and leave her children behind, most men wouldn't leave their wife behind (at least until he had found and hooked up with someone else). Men cling to their wives not out of a sense of responsibility (the way women cling to their children) but out of a sense of need. Talking about his own sex, Dr. Jed Diamond writes, ". . . we give a lot of our power to women. Our sense of self-esteem and value depends totally on their view of us. We become 'nice guys' who are forever trying to please the women in our lives. Or we become controlling and mean as we take out our anger on the women we are so dependent upon."
The arena of expressed emotions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], where the felt emotions finally emerge, funnels negative emotions (like frustration, hurt,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], sadness,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], guild or shame) into the one (negative) expression: anger; and it funnels positive emotions (like sympathy, caring, warmth, connectedness or intimacy) into the other (positive) expression: sex. The deeper that researchers delve past the anger of the expressed emotions, beyond the recognized emotions, to what men are really feeling, the more that they're finding a common source for the Irritable Male Syndrome. Whereas women's self-esteem is tied to their emotional connections (girls want to be liked, women want to nurture), men's self-esteem rises and falls on the respect they receive from others. When men feel disrespected ('dissed'), they feel disvalued and discounted. Men's lives are all about doing, about competency and accomplishment . . . and about being recognized for these things. Norman Mailer once wrote, "Nobody was born a man; you earned manhood provided you were good enough, bold enough."
One day my father, as a young man, came home from work to find the apartment cleaned out of furniture and swept clean. His wive (not my mother) was gone. Needless to say, reconciliation wasn't an option. I also know of a woman who was so alienated from her husband that, from time to time, he'd come down to breakfast and find a note on the kitchen table saying, "Gone." She'd reappear after a week or so traveling or visiting family. Seldom do you hear of men doing the 'cut and run' routine. As a matter of fact, the more frequent story tells the story of men who who have become obsessed with the object of their affections.
Men facing the midlife transition are standing at the very edge of this abyss. Far too many go over the edge,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], losing their relationships, their families, their careers, their very identities. No wonder men in this situation want to start all over again, create a new persona,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and reinvent themselves. Their old selves (defined by their visible signs of success) evidently didn't work. The obvious choice, then, is do something different. We can only hope, when he's through remaking himself,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that our guy will get in touch on a deeper level with what's been going on inside him. Otherwise, I fear, there's always the possibility that the 'new' man will only be the old man in disguise, and the cycle will start all over again. We can also hope and pray that our guy doesn't yield to his feelings of helplessness (and hopelessness) and take his own life, as so many do. As they say,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Men can truly change. They can break this cycle and not let it overpower them. All they need to do so is to find a sense of purpose not just in what they do, but also in who they are.
By H. Les Brown, MA, CFCC
See all Articles by H. Les BrownSee H. Les Brown's Expert PageGet Updates on Adult and Senior DevelopmentGet Updates on H. Les Brown Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
In the midlife transition, many men are caught in a vicious cycle of negative emotions — often triggered by a feeling of failure or inadequacy — that sends them into a downward spiral. Since all negative emotions (including disappointment get translated into anger (and the man recognizes that his anger is inappropriate),[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he begins to feel out of control, unable to 'fix' the emotional vacuum that he feels he's being sucked into. Before very long, our emotionally overwrought guy begins to feel the most terrible feeling of all for a man: helplessness. That one feeling, perhaps more than any other, strikes at the root of his manhood and self-esteem leaving him disvalued (and disrespected) in his own eyes. It's unimaginable to feel that you're being devoured by your own emotions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and that your own awareness of that feeling is devouring you. "A man [can easily] prove his manhood every day by standing up to challenges and insults even though he goes to his death 'smiling,'" writes Oscar Lewis. It's far more excruciating for a man to go to his (emotional) death in tears, consumed by his own sense of worthlessness.
*I suspect that there's a third emotional expression that we could add here: pride. This is the emotion that he shows when he (or his favorite team) scores or wins a game,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], when he's succeeded in completing a difficult objective, or when one of his children wins, succeeds or is honored.
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